goal oriented

"Do you fantasize about the pain, or about being done with the pain?"

-James Mogul, The Training of O, Jade Marxxx: Day 2

we discuss masochism as the sexual enjoyment of pain, but i don't think i've ever heard the question posed as above. i don't think i've ever separated the two, either.

discussion about fantasies in general: men, i've noticed, tend to fantasize more about the physicality of what's happening ("then she kneeled and sucked my cock") and women tend to have a plot line ("he looked at me with a glare as my tongue reached for his cock").

what i find interesting about my own masochistic fantasies are that they are always, always, tied up (all puns intended) in D/s. it's the dominance that gets me - *not* the physical reaction they may be getting as well. i do not consider myself a pain slut, because the pain itself isn't enough to arouse me. i've trained my body to accept probably more painful sensations than your average jane, but left to my own devices, i don't clip my own nipples or pinch my own thighs.

i take the pain you give me because you give it, because you want me to take it. the pain, then, becomes one of the gifts i'm grateful for. when i see the look on your face, your eyes glowing and your breath rasping, it's worth it.

every time.