what do you owe me?

one of the very fine lines i walk with all this is my sense of what my dominant owes me. i don't mean in the literal sense - the terms of our relationship and contract are fairly explicit - he doesn't owe me a damned thing. my rights are pretty damned close to zero, and a phrase often-heard in these parts is "i take what you give me, and i'm grateful for it."

okay, so that being said, whether it's strictly interpreted or not, i occasionally slip into thinking that what he owes me comes down to my own expectations. and here's where i struggle.

my dominant is a very, very consistent individual. he is what he says he is, and his behavior has been entirely consistent with what he articulates as his belief system. that doesn't disallow for flexibility and change and growth for him as an individual. what i've come to expect from him is the consistent behavior and decision making paths i've seen for a while now.

to give credit where it's due, he's the one that has explained the need for a dominant to exhibit consistent behavior. ultimately it doesn't matter what that behavior is as long as it's consistent. constantly changing your mind or being indecisive is a very hard thing to submit to. it's not impossible, but very, very difficult.

the line i walk is this: my expectations of who you are, what i can interpret your dominance to be "like", and the decisions that you make, do not entitle me to being owed that same behavior. you don't owe me anything - and i have to carefully balance out the difference between expecting something and it being my "due" - it's not the same thing.