You know I'm just a small-town girl
I'm off to see the whole wide world
I'm off to see the Wizard too
Do everything that Dorothy won't do
Joe Jackson, "1-2-3"
It is brave to make a choice. Even if it's whether to eat an apple or an orange. Living itself takes bravery, and making choices to move forward is outrageously terrifying. I've made a ton of decisions in my life, some small but significant and some huge and overwhelming. But I have never, ever been unable to take a step, pull a string, turn. *That* is the gift I received from my parents, and it wasn't one they had intended to give me.
"Indecision is the seedling of fear!" - Napoleon Hill
When we play in bdsm with fear, it's only because we are able to use suspension of disbelief to think that we are in danger. I mean, sorta, because RACK and all. But really, when someone puts themselves intentionally in harm's way we call that bottoming, masochism, submission, whatever, but within the context of a community, it's "safe-ish", right?
What isn't safe is standing still and waiting for the wave to overtake you. It smells like submission ("I'm not making this decision"), but it's really a power move, to stay still and not do anything. It removes the onus of responsibility, accountability, and sometimes, integrity.
I can't live that way. What scares me more than the probable chances of failure, injury, heartbreak, is that I could lose control over my own destiny. I will not submit to fear.
If you're standing on a precipice, looking at a fork in the road, holding out two hands, pick one and don't look back.
(Art by John Baker, "Indecision")
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