minutes

putting one foot in front of the other without getting exhausted is a relief. i am overwhelmed by the realization that i am awake, again, with a return back to my "box". kaya says here, somewhere, that the rules don't feel like rules, because of how they are ingrained into the regular routine.

but it surprised me that i became (relatively) dysfunctional without them.

not everything is clear yet, but one thing became abundantly obvious: if something feels good, keep doing it. if something doesn't feel good, stop doing it. (yes, i know, that becomes a little twisty-turny when you're a masochist of any variety, but i think we all get the point here).

so we're going to keep doing it.

pretty simple, really, after all. kinda feels like the world righted itself again back onto the correct axis. and i woke up from my fog, and the smile returned to your face. it took only minutes, i think.