this is how i knew

this is how i knew what to do.

you asked me, "right here? right now?" a small veil of surprise over your features, but a bright happy light piercing through it anyway.

there is music behind everything you do, did you know that? there are rhythms and pieces of notes half-sung, and they speak louder than any words you say.

the first night, when i could not stop touching you.

the way your fingers move. the way your hands grip the signal whip and move my shoulders while i am sobbing back to where you want me. the grip of your hips behind me when you are finally done with the pain, when i was done long ago.

the way you watch me and mine.

for someone who treasures words more than almost anything else, i realized that those actions spoke louder than any words you could have said. that's how i knew.