For some reason, you will no longer be the person you believed you once were. You'll detect slow and subtle shifts going on all around you, more importantly shifts in you. Worse, you'll realize it's always been shifting, like a shimmer of sorts, a vast shimmer, only dark like a room. But you won't understand why or how. - Mark Danielewski, House Of Leaves
Monday, March 31, 2008
what happened
his disappointment in me flecks away pieces of my self. i scramble around trying to pick them back up and put them back in place the way he wants them.
i adore labels. i love them. i cut them up and repaste them together again in little confetti anachronisms until i find one that looks like a gorgeous ransom note and say 'that'll fit.'
- i've had poems written about me. - my college sweetheart saved my love letters. - a man who lost me told me he was heartbroken years later to realize it. - a girl once whispered to me as she came that i was beautiful in the moonlight. - a man told me i was most beautiful when i cry. - another man told me my rage was magnificent. - i know there is a lock of my hair saved in a box. - when my fingers laced with theirs on a walk, someone traced my knuckles and sighed. - i touched someone's shoulder and they trembled. - someone met my gaze until one of us weakened and looked down.
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