kiss and tell me

i'm still getting off on the memories of last week. well, "getting off" being an operative term because i've actually been cut off from getting off in the traditional usage of the word. no, i don't know when this particular interlude will conclude, i only know that whining about it won't help my odds.

but back to the subject at hand: kissing. i've long held a fantasy about being the toy between a couple. there's a scene in laura antoniou's the slave where robin is blindfolded and used simply as a sex toy for her trainer, chris, and his friend rachel. of course, in *my* version, it's much more violent and degrading, but still. it's a taste. at any rate, i keep circling back to this inner photograph of the couple kissing above me.

i do like kissing. it's not my favorite aspect of intimacy, or sex, but i do like it. but the intimacy of face-to-face contact, the general lack of aggression, makes it a more egalitarian part of the act than seems worthwhile, when i could be enjoying myself enormously more as an object instead. in fact, one of the absolute-hottest-moments-of-my-life was last week when my owner was sharing this lovely intimate moment. with someone else while fucking me violently.

i can't get this out of my head. i now know what it looks like, the way he moves and touches and hurts and fucks. and for some people, the intimacy of kissing is a giant no-no, even in the world of polyamory, because of exactly the vanilla connotations. usually folks don't like to see their partner sharing that with someone else. but for me, watching this, thinking about it, imagining it over and over and over has become my favorite goddamned porn movie ever. and i'm a lucky, lucky bitch - for a moment or three, i really was just the toy.

(for a much more pornographic reference to the scene itself, please refer to a beautiful girl. i don't think you'll be sorry.) (pic by thesescarz on deviantART)