brutal, but the realization only as it ended. not the word i'd have used at the start.
pieces i remember now:
- you suddenly in the kitchen with me i can't see your eyes
- white soft rope, tight
- a quick panic on my pillow
- gagging
- "that's not what it's about. this is not about you."
when the phone rang, i almost didn't answer it. i'm glad i did.
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