i've been called a lot of things. i've called myself a lot of things, too. labels make life easier sometimes, because it's something to cling to when you have no idea where you fit in.
that doesn't make them right. i'm fascinated and educated by the conversation going on in kaya's blog, here. yes, i'm obsessed with words. and i can't help but continuously try to pigeon-hole myself, as much as i know it's not possible.
i wrote this about labels a while ago, and even used it in a profile somewhere on the internet:
i adore labels. i love them. i cut them up and repaste them together again in little confetti anachronisms until i find one that looks like a gorgeous ransom note and say 'that'll fit.'
things i've been called both by others and by myself:
- victim
- masochist
- doormat
- submissive
- slave
- girl
- grownup
- mature
- immature
- petty
- cold
- warm
- Ma'am
- bitch
i don't own any of these. and all of them are mine.
soft focus
- luna_lux
- i adore labels. i love them. i cut them up and repaste them together again in little confetti anachronisms until i find one that looks like a gorgeous ransom note and say 'that'll fit.'
3 comments:
i spent way to much time reading the comments at "kaya's place" yesterday! It felt like a tea party in a certain way...it was hard to keep up because her format allows for comments to be attached to comments without moving them out of their origonal place in the queu...so i was constantly going back to try not to miss anything! It really was an eye opening chain discussion! It is funny that we get so attached to the labels and how it really comes down to what we choose to label ourselves. Or, as you say, someone else attachs the label to us. It seemed to me to be some that consider themselves submissive would do much the same as many slaves but just don't like the "label". i know when MJ and i were attempting to define the nature of O/our relationship, we decided how W/we wished to live O/our lives and then the labels came after.
W/we are on a board where we know many of the people on there RT(not BDSM, but another crazy affinity group!) and when it was revealed the nature of O/our dynamic it was like people couldn't wrap their minds around it...Comments like "You are the last woman on here I would ever think would be submissive." So the label thing is so strong for people...they have both an image of what we are, as well as a vanilla impression of what a slave or a sub must be like and then when confronted with combining the two together it totally screws up the labeling system!!
I guess it just goes to show, the most important thing is to know thine self and to thine own self be true....denying my "true slave nature" and allowing society to label me caused me a world of hurt for a very long time...and proved to me just how strong one must be to actually be submissive in society today!!
Thanks for a great post..and now i'm headed over to kaya's to see if she posted the pix i begged for yesterday to sooth my aching brain!!
~s/nik~
Eh, i saw that too. You can add "adulterer", "cheater", and "a bad catholic" to my list. A very bad one.
i've always resided with the fact that labels are for boxes and letters, not people. However, i found your closing sentence very compelling: i don't own any of these. and all of them are mine.
Interesting,
xoxx
@ mj: i think i only added to the monster of the label problem with this post. i have to remember that really they're only words, and they only apply if you let them. or want them.
@toy: yeah, but that's the problem with being a word addict, isn't it?
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