i live in a town with a lot of colleges nearby. it's almost labor day, and there's a lot of youngsters and their parents milling around, reading maps and checking out cute new england - stuff.
a lot of moms and daughters. one of my favorite things to see is a mom and daughter duo walking down the sidewalk, looking like younger/older replicas of each other. i wonder if they see each other, and see what they'd have looked like in different clothes, in a different era.
i don't get along with my own mother. oh, i do - in a superficial hugs-when-we-meet kind of way. i know this is heartbreaking for her, as she seems to want nothing more than to be able to say "i am close to my daughter." but we're not close.
i've been ruminating on my limits, my reasons. and a recent experience made me recognize that who i am as a woman, the kind of woman i am, has a great deal to do with my mother, but in the opposite way you'd expect.
i will not be afraid. i will not anticipate the wrongness of life, dread oncoming pain and trouble and fear. when bad things happen it is not because i deserve it or because the fates hate me.
the fates are neutral, and blind, and will weave my fate as they see fit. be here now, and bring it on, i say.
(photo credit: gwyneth paltrow and her mother, blythe danner.)
1 comment:
My mother passed away suddenly in her sleep 10 years ago. It was tough. We weren't very clothes. I was only 15, but rather than be my mom she tried to be my friend. If that makes any sense.
Anyhow...Shortly before she passed we went on a day trip to Reno. We walked up and down the strip and in and out of stores. It was a good day and for once we weren't fighting. I was holding her hand as we walked down the street. Two guys walked past us the other way and we turned to check 'em out and they turned to. We really didn't think much..Till i tkept happening. We stopped into one of the old fashioned photo booths and had pictures only to realize. We both looked very clothes in age. Young and pretty.
All those people who kept looking at us...HAHAHA they thought we were a couple! ROTFLMA Omg I about died.
Thank you for reminding me of this.
~~jane
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