friendly

i met a couple the other day. really cool. the kind of hip hipster people i wish i was, but still old enough to have at least a few things in common. the little bits of conversation we had were entertaining and i liked them.

this is a big deal because i don't often meet people i actually like. the problem is, i met them in a completely vanilla context, and i'm struck by the fact that my "lifestyle" isn't apparent to them.

i have very few friends that are not aware of my lifestyle. there are reasons for that: it's probably the most prevalent part of my life - the most pervasive, the most encompassing. but i'm not obvious about it - unless i told you, you'd probably never know. the similarities between being a lifestyle submissive/slave/property are very, very similar to being gay, i'd think, in that it's not *just* about sex, but it's a lot about sexuality. anyway.

my immediate reaction upon meeting these people was "oh well."

which is stupid. and prejudiced. and isolating. and, and and... but i can't help but think about when and if "the conversation" would occur. so, a paradox: i'd like to attempt friendship, but i'm wary of it.

so it goes.