letter

dear self 10 years ago-

you just made a really bad choice. funny, because you'll eventually find out that making choices is sort of a mixed bag for you: necessary at times, but not something you're particularly good at.

that whole "fork in the road" thing? it's not really like that. because everything you're going to do for the next decade is a choice, a decision point, that will lead you to where i'm at now. every single moment you'll do something that will change the course of the future.

some of the stuff is going to go really, super-amazingly badly. on some level, you probably know that already, and while we both wish you'd have recognized that earlier, it's too late. i mean it. it's not going to be good. you're going to lie to yourself, to others, become numb, and have a horrible time of it.

but here's the good news - eventually, all those trials are going to get you to a place where you'll feel clean. healthy, and clean. you will be worse for wear because of all of it, so just recognize that now - maybe coming to terms with it in advance will help.

despite everything, i'm grateful to you. some of the the things that will come in the next few years are joyful beyond comprehension. know also that that's coming too.

love and luck,

a decade