i saw it

i saw the look on your face. the tightening of your jaw. the set of the way your eyes looked up quickly to grab mine. you looked back down at my thighs and your finger touched the marks lightly. small ovals the color of raspberries slowly turning purple. and then the questions.

"what did he use." "did you like it." and then as your fingers forced their way into me, "tell me what you were thinking about when it happened, when he was fucking you." your voice was harsh and angry, your fingers brutal and unforgiving. i did not want to see your eyes, so there was a small kindness of letting me squeeze my eyes shut against that.

with my answers, you abruptly let go, suddenly silent.

i didn't know what to do with that. so i told myself it wasn't what i saw there, that it was not.

jealousy.