care and feeding, revisit

Quoting R100Rider,from a comment in the post attitude adjusted: "Bless your heart. I don't think I could do anything more than casual play without at least a grain of love involved. I couldn't trust someone that much."

I started writing the response to this there, but it deserves it's own post.

this makes me wonder if i've mis-portrayed the relationship i'm referring to. i don't think i said there was no love involved, but that he is not my "lover", or my boyfriend. i think there are ways to give and show love that are not within the realms of those two kinds of relationships. for example, love for a family member.

in this relationship there is an *incredible* amount of trust. affection, too. in fact, my struggle with this has not been around whether or not i'm getting enough care from him, but around how that can co-exist with the fact that i am also his posession, and don't always have the permissions and freedoms to make the choices i would make under my own steam. but the point, i suppose, is that whatever "care and feeding" (or love, depending on how you phrase it) that comes from my Dominant is what he chooses to give me. He's not obligated to *love* me, any more than i am obligated to *love* him. that's not part of the contract. it's not the primary reason we're doing this - that comes from a very, very deep need and pull that exists inside both of us.

but what *is* there is a mention of the fact that we continue to maintain a true, honest friendship throughout the term of service. and maintaining a friendship does, in my belief system, involve some level of care.

that's not the kind of love we associate with match dot com or somesuch, but it's there.

yeah, it's complicated.

but also part of the point of this is exploration, and i like to challenge my notions of what i thought i believed, what i'm able to do. an adventure with a *lot* of risk, i'm aware, but then again i've never been one to pull punches, even on myself.

thanks for the thought generator.