some times i wonder if i'm done.
some times i wonder if i'll ever be done.
i had a too-big bite of loneliness today. i was stuck at a family oriented event, with my family, such as it is, and felt completely out of place with everyone. i said somewhere recently that i'm a kiwi among oranges and apples, and that's never so defined as when i am in the heart of family-oriented events.
some times i don't want to be like this.
some times i want everyone else to be like this.
i felt disconnected. i felt alone. i felt like i was hearing and seeing everything around me through fuzzy glass. i saw people i knew, and i smiled and talked and socialized.
i have no idea who that person was that did that.
i have no idea how to be anything other than what i already am.
i want, i want, i want.
and all the i wants in the world will never add up to the same thing as what i need.
No comments:
Post a Comment