"I never worry
Now that is a lie..."
- rhcp, under the bridge
i've been thinking a lot about this whole 24/7 concept. i'm not all that interested in changing anyone's mind about their own definition of it. i'm also not that interested in making changes to my own relationship because of what someone else thinks it means. recently i was reading a blogger who i respect a great deal, and their (what i consider to be) rigid opinion of this disappointed me. i'm just not one to argue the point, but it's made me think about it.
so here's the thing. conceptually, a "24/7" arrangement is one where there is no break. there's no time out, there's no re-negotiation, there's no aftercare (in the sense that there is no "after"). but the challenge becomes how we think about obedience, service, and control.
there are vanilla relationships that are 24/7. those people are never *not* in the relationship because they aren't living together. parenting is 24/7. but when your kid is, say, at overnight camp, or visiting their other parent for a visit, you're not not a parent. why is it any different with M/s relationships? the assumption seems to be that unless you are directly under someone's use and control you are not in a 24/7 arrangement.
i think that's crap. unless you have your slave literally in your line of vision or otherwise chained up while they are not.
my point is, that i am not doing my owner's bidding every.single.second. because (surprise! shocker!) he doesn't have the freakin' time to direct when i take a breath, eat a cracker, sigh, or sit. sometimes his directions are simply to take care of it myself. i am 24-hours-a-day, 7-days-a-week, doing what he wants. and sometimes that's to just leave him in peace.
isn't that the point of being a slave? a slave is what i am, not what i do, or where i live.
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3 comments:
I agree with you that we all have our own definitions of what 24/7 means. Like you, mine means that my owner and I can do 24/7 even though we do not live together right now. I am still owned every minute of every day, as evidenced by a million tiny little things in my life that most people probably would never notice. I think the arrangement suits us quite well.
Best,
Kitten
If you meant me then I'm sorry because I fully agree with what you've written here.
I didn't express myself too well there because I was afraid to hurt people's feelings or egos but I never meant to say that people who don't live together cannot be 24/7.
I just don't know a lot of people who don't live together but are 24/7, who don't say this is as far as you can go to their Doms because they are for instance already in another relationship--which makes perfect sense to me. (Of course my not knowing people like this doesn't mean that they don't exist.)
What I wanted to say was just the obvious, that I find bathing, putting on your best clothes on to go to your montly playdate, difficult in a different way (e.g. loneliness) than living together and being 24/7 and being his even when you're dirty and tired. (Not more difficult, just in a different way. (I was not trying to prove that the first form cannot be 24/7. Of course it can, but it's still different.)
Not that it matters though, anyone can call their relationship 24/7 if they like, I don't feel robbed of anything by that.
24/7, table, arf, yellow. I'll call what I do yellow if my Owner tells me to.
Sorry for annoying you, especially when I simply agree. Or for making an ass out of myself if you weren't talking about me. I'll go hide under a rock now.
@kitten: "a million tiny little things..." yep, that. and some big ones we just don't really talk about.
@sod: uh. as much as i adore you, it wasn't you. :)
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