all night long vanilla

conversation under the covers almost asleep:

me: you ever hear about those people who have sex "all night"?
D: yeah.
me: what's that about? how do you have sex all night? vanilla sex? all night? that's a lot of fucking.
D: i don't think they mean active penetration for 12 hours.
me: oh. 'cause that sounds - tiring. and boring.

[interlude in which we attempt to describe what vanilla sex consists of. we rack our brains. this is not a simple task.]

me: i mean, vanilla sex? all night? honestly, that sounds like torture to me. ::: laughing ::: hey - that's a new way to torture me - make me have vanilla sex for 8 hours. but i think you'd be bored shitless.
D: actually, that's an idea. but i wouldn't do it. i'd get someone else to do it.

[very long pause.]

me: uh. with all due respect, "getting someone else to do it" isn't vanilla.

[short pause]

D: huh. how about that.